Leaving B-Town

So we leave B-town with ALL four kids and ON TIME! We faced only one minor problem, that of merging on to I-90 in heavy traffic, from the wrong lane and, apparently manned by the wrong driver. Driving Sherman is like driving a rhino. He’s great at charging but requires a football stadium to turn left or right.

At any rate, we point Sherman’s nose due East.

We have plenty of company. On the way we see quite a few “Hoopfeast or Bust” signs on cars just as laden with baggage, kids, fast food wrappers and Starbucks coffee mugs. We stand out because we don’t have a basketball displayed anywhere. I guess this Hoopfeast thing is kinda big.

About an hour and a half in, I spotted a monument on top of a massive hill overlooking the Columbia River. The sign said Wild Horse Monument

I wanted to see it. My idea is greeted rather coolly

“Mom. They’re not moving” says Chase in a stage whisper as we wind up the hill.

“I told you she was smart” I say to D, undeterred.

It was too bad that the plaque which should have told us all about the Wild Horse Monument appear to have been pried off some time ago, and replaced by graffiti. Still, the monument, a herd of horses, overlooked an amazing view of the river.

And then it was back on to I-90, with four kids and 6800 basketball teams. We cruised into Spokane to a beautiful sunset.

We arrived, along with everyone else to downtown Spokane, unloaded 6 backpacks, one computer, one brief case, one suitcase, one beach bag filled with bathroom essentials, two cell phones, one bug pillow and four kids.

We waited in line for the elevators, find our rooms, change into nighties, brush teeth, washing hair, climb into bed and I fall thankfully asleep to Meerkat manor. Sometime later, the kids fall asleep too.

Saturday morning our goal was to be up and on the road to Carol and Dave O’s house for breakfast by 7:30. The O’s are my college friends from University of San Francisco. I call Carol from the lobby at 8. We are moving slowly.

While we wait for Sherman to be pulled around, the courtyard is full of basketball players. Every player, shoes slung over shoulders, water bottles in hand, are warming up, Next to me, the wheelchair team checks their rims, a mother double knots her son’s laces when the National Anthem is broadcasted over the loud speakers, I think from the Spokane City Center (?) maybe one block away.

Everyone stops what they are doing. The young boy in front of me takes off his hat and turns toward the sound. Everyone sings, us, the bellman, the players

Man, I love this country.

We make it to the O’s awesome house set on beautiful acreage just on the outskirts of Spokane proper only slightly late. Dave and Carol look exactly like they did in college-ok, maybe Dave has a few gray hairs but he and Carol has three wonderful children to show for it. And they haven’t changed one bit.

And what a breakfast… scrambled eggs, bacon, muffins, coffee and juice served in their backyard, under the trees.

You know, I said, if you come to my house you’d get a choice of which cereal bar or maybe, if it’s been a good morning, Honey Nut Cheerios with milk.

We leave with homemade banana bread, a huge tub of red vine licorice and three different colored plastic ribbons to make bracelets. I’m looking out for you, Carol said.

As we left B said, Mom I had the greatest adventure and we didn’t even leave their backyard!

To the O family, thanks for the wonderful hospitality. Shelley, I hope your team won, and we’ll see you guys on the slopes!

Let’s put the pedal to the metal said D. We need to make Ennis by 6 pm, Wilderness Edge is another hour after that. We need to buy groceries and get there before 7.

Hmmmmm.

Not even a half hour into the trip, we pass Old Mission, a historic site in Coeur d’Alene. Well, we can’t pass up a mission, so we double back. It’s a beautiful mission established by a Jesuit (of course), built with mud and straw, and eventually supported by hand hewed lumber. The original wall paper was hand painted by the priest. The detail is amazing.

So then its souvenir time and back into the car with one t shirt, two arrowheads, one rosary and four kids.

We really need to push it, said D.

Don’t worry I said. Maybe we won’t see anything interesting between here and there.

And we don’t for quite a while.

Outside of Missoula, Don gets an awful thought. Hey, do we change time zones? This initiates some franticness. He checks his cell phone, no coverage. He checks mine. I have coverage but he doesn’t believe it and spends at least 15 minutes trying to change the time. He can’t. We try the radio. No luck.

We find the answer in Missoula when we stop for lunch. Yes, there is a time change and we just lost an hour. You would think after 10 years in the Navy and the last 2 years as a Navigator he would have figured this out before? Isn’t there a course at the Naval Academy on Voyage Planning?

Damn, D. says. We are really screwed! But we have to eat and so we do a sit down lunch. The waters come and Ronnie curls her tongue and sticks it in her water.

What are you doing? I asked.

I’m a human straw, she says.

Hey, does that really work? asks D. and grabs his water. It does! We all try it. Its good until the water level gets low.

Now I use a spoon, Ronnie explains.

The camera comes out and D. takes many shots of the “human straws”. Ronnie will only pose if she wears his glasses.

But then it’s back to the road and miles and miles of Idaho and Montana, huge mountains, coursing rivers, blue skies and only one police car.

We miss taking pictures of Lolo National Forest (sorry Pam) , Welcome to Idaho and Welcome to Montana. We get a picture of Sherman Avenue and a huge statue in Butte. Our lady of the Mines is perched on top of a bluff overlooking the town. I wouldn’t mind stopping but we are way, way behind.

It’s here in Butte that the kid behavior disintegrates.

It’s all ass-bumping, elbows flying, what can they watch on the video, what can they watch on the computer, whether Roots is appropriate for everyone to watch, whether Nick is the owner over the gum, whether that was truly a VW bug to qualify as a slug bug spotting, who farted, when, where and how much, who has ownership of the remote, who stole the headsets, who broke the headsets, who looked at who wrong, who was bragging.

Are we there yet?

What can I do now?

Mom!

Daaaadddd!

Grrrrrrr.

We follow the signs to Yellowstone National Park. We make it to Ennis, everyone alive but a bit worse for the wear. Its 7:30 we are past the deadline for checking in and we are at least an hour out.

At the grocery store, the register lady tells us she grew up in Sea Tac.

I always tell everyone Bozeman is Bellevue in the 1970’s, she says. Bozeman is the neighboring town to Ennis.

D. takes over driving and we rearrange seating to minimize the brawls. We follow the signs to Wilderness Edge, we off road down a dirt trail. We are greeted by cows, very cool cows that we could reach out and touch, if we weren’t so scared. Sherman plows on and we finally arrive.

It’s a beautiful log cabin above a creek, nestled between the hills, with deer already coming out to graze, and the sun just dipping behind the mountains.

We unload 6 backpacks, 1 essentials bag, 1 suitcase, 1 brief case, 3 computers, 2 cell phones, 1 technology bag, 7 bags of groceries, 4 kids and a half a tub of red vine licorice.

There’s no TV, says Chase, looking around.

There’s no internet. Kill me now, states Nick.

I like it this way, I don’t Need the TV or the computer to have fun, says B, her nose tilted upward, her book clutched in her hand.

Well, isn’t that just precious, retorts Nick.

O boy.

Eventually Nick and Chase figure out they can still play computer games and Bresh and Ronnie discover the sprinklers are on one cabin down and I fix dinner and start a load of laundry. Then, it’s dinner, dinner clean up and setting out clothes for tomorrow.

I throw B and Ronnie in the bathtub. A few minutes later, I hear screams.

There’s a bug on my butt, yells B.

EEEhhhhhh! Screams Ronnie

I hear wet feet hitting the floor as the bathtub is evacuated.

And there is a bug floating in the tub water.

It’s a deer tick and I am not happy.

Did it bite you? I ask

I don’t know.

I mean did you feel it bite you, I clarify.

I don’t know I just scratched my butt and it was there.

Attached? I specify.

What do you mean?

Was your butt under water when you scratched it?

B looked confused.

Never mind, I said

Well, how’d she get it? asked Don

Well she didn’t come from B-town with it, I retorted.

I know that I’m just saying she probably got it here, right now when she was out in the sprinklers.

Oh. Hmmm. That makes sense.

Am I going to die from Lime disease? asks B.

No, says Nick, you’ll just go to sleep for a long, long time.

Mooooommmm!

Tally so far:

2 spilled drinks

7 official slug bug sightings,

2 dead skunks, I dead deer, one unidentifiable creature with wings, quite possibly a vulture.

0 Puking

Bugs 1, Ms 0